How Not to Get Fit
A brutally honest guide to staying out of shape forever.
You’ve finally decided it’s time to “get in shape.” Maybe your jeans are talking back. Maybe you googled how do you get skinny and landed on a rabbit hole of fitness influencers selling $99 eBooks and protein powders. Maybe you just want to look less like a melted candle when you sit down.
But here’s a secret: before you learn how to get fit, you have to unlearn all the bad advice that’s keeping you stuck. Because for every legit tip, there are ten Instagram myths, Pinterest detoxes, and TikTok ab challenges waiting to waste your time.
So let’s save you the trouble. Here’s exactly how not to get fit — in case staying unfit is actually your goal.
❌ 1. Wait for Motivation to Show Up
Motivation is a unicorn. It’s magical, rare, and mostly imaginary. If your fitness plan begins with “when I feel motivated”, you’re already planning to fail.
You know what shows up more often than motivation? Excuses. Tired. Busy. Cold outside. Mercury in retrograde. Your dog looked at you funny.
💡 What to do instead: Build a routine. Start small. Show up even when you don’t feel like it. Fitness isn’t a feeling — it’s a habit.
❌ 2. Try Every Trend at Once
One week it’s keto, the next it’s carnivore, then it’s hot yoga on a paddleboard while drinking activated charcoal. This is how people get nowhere — fast.
Trying everything is the same as doing nothing consistently.
💡 What to do instead: Pick one method. Track progress. Stick with it for 8–12 weeks before switching.
❌ 3. Turn Cardio Into a Punishment
If your idea of how to get in shape is running until your soul exits your body, you’re not alone. But if you hate every second, you won’t last.
Endless cardio won’t build muscle, won’t reshape your body, and definitely won’t make you fall in love with fitness.
💡 What to do instead: Mix in strength training. Lift weights. Walk more. Move your body in ways you enjoy — even dancing counts.
❌ 4. Starve Yourself and Call It “Discipline”
Here’s a fun fact: Eating like a squirrel doesn’t make you fit — it makes you hangry, tired, and prone to late-night fridge raids.
And let’s not forget, under-eating slows your metabolism. You might lose water weight and muscle first, but the fat? It’s not going quietly.
💡 What to do instead: Eat enough. Especially protein. Learn the basics of nutrition and stop fearing carbs like they owe you money.
❌ 5. Expect Instant Results
“30 days to a beach body.” LOL. Unless your current body is a beach, that’s not happening.
Fitness takes time. If you’re measuring success by the scale alone, or obsessing after one bad meal, you’re doing it wrong.
💡 What to do instead: Focus on consistency over perfection. Measure progress in energy, sleep, strength, and confidence — not just pounds.
❌ 6. Compare Yourself to Instagram
She has abs, a spray tan, perfect lighting, and no job (other than posting ab selfies). You have bills, kids, and a body that doesn’t magically shrink when you skip one snack.
Comparing yourself to influencers is a great way to lose motivation — and your mind.
💡 What to do instead: Compare yourself to past you. Progress isn’t about perfection; it’s about improvement.
❌ 7. Think Gym = Only Way
Don’t want to go to the gym? Cool. Don’t. But don’t confuse that with a free pass to do nothing.
Fitness is not a location. It’s an action. You can move your body anywhere — park, bedroom, YouTube, prison cell. No excuses.
💡 What to do instead: Find what works for you. Home workouts, group classes, hikes, bodyweight routines. Just move.
❌ 8. Fall for “Fitfluencer” Scams
Any plan that promises abs in 7 days, or makes you buy 12 supplements to “burn fat faster,” is selling you a fantasy (and probably diarrhea).
💡 What to do instead: Learn the basics. Prioritize whole foods, movement, rest, and recovery. Results don’t need a promo code.
🚫 Bonus: The Ultimate Formula for Staying Unfit
Still determined not to get fit? Here’s your foolproof plan:
- Keep waiting for the perfect Monday.
- Do random YouTube workouts and track nothing.
- Eat like a raccoon on a sugar rush.
- Panic-buy a fitness tracker and forget it in a drawer.
- Say, “I’ll start next week.” Every week.
Boom. Flawless failure.
✅ The Real Secret to Getting Fit
It’s not sexy, and it won’t go viral:
Move your body. Eat mostly real food. Sleep enough. Stay consistent.
That’s it.
You want to know how to get fit, how to build muscle, how to get in shape? That’s the formula. Everything else is just noise.
