How NOT to Negotiate Salary (And Lose Thousands Politely)
Negotiating salary is awkward. So naturally, many people try to avoid it by doing the worst possible thing: saying yes immediately and hoping rent gets cheaper.
Welcome to How NOT to Negotiate Salary—the classic ways to sabotage your own offer. Then we’ll switch gears and cover what to do instead, with scripts you can copy and paste like a responsible adult.
Before we begin: negotiation is normal
Companies expect some negotiation. Most hiring managers won’t be offended by a respectful ask. What does cause problems is being rude, being chaotic, or asking for something without any justification.
1) Accept the first offer instantly (to look “easy”)
It feels polite. It’s also the easiest way to leave money on the table for the next 12 months.
Even a small difference compounds: $300/month is $3,600/year. And raises are usually percentages of your base, so the gap keeps growing.
Do instead: buy time. Say:
- “Thanks—I’m excited about the role. Can I take 24 hours to review the offer and get back to you?”
2) Negotiate without data (a.k.a. “I just feel like…”)
“I feel like I deserve more” is honest. It’s not persuasive.
You don’t need a 40‑page report. You need something: market ranges, your experience level, and proof of impact.
Do instead: bring 2–3 reference points:
- Market range for your role/location (use 2 sources if possible)
- Your relevant experience (years + skills that match the job)
- Impact proof (metrics, projects, outcomes)
3) Make it personal (“My bills are high”)
True, but the company’s budget isn’t based on your personal expenses. When you negotiate on “need,” you put them in an awkward position and you weaken your argument.
Do instead: keep it business: scope, impact, and market value.
4) Talk too much and negotiate against yourself
This is the classic self‑discount:
“I was hoping for $X… but I understand budgets… I could do $X‑10%… or maybe $X‑20%… honestly whatever works…”
Congrats—you just gave them three cheaper options.
Do instead: ask once, clearly, then stop. Silence is a tool.
5) Only ask for money (and ignore other levers)
Sometimes salary bands are fixed. That doesn’t mean you’re out of options.
Do instead: negotiate the package:
- Sign‑on bonus
- Performance bonus
- More PTO
- Remote days / flexibility
- Learning budget
- Earlier review (e.g., 3 months) with a compensation re‑evaluation
- Title/level (if it affects future growth)
6) Ask for an unrealistic jump with no bridge
If the offer is $80k and you demand $140k with no explanation, you’ll sound disconnected from reality—even if you’re worth more.
Do instead: anchor with a reasonable range and a reason:
- “Based on the role scope and market data, I was expecting something closer to $X–$Y.”
Copy/paste scripts (steal these)
Simple counter:
“Thanks again—I’m excited. Based on the role scope and market data, I was expecting something closer to $X. Is there flexibility to move the base to that range?”
If they say ‘we’re at the top of the band’:
“Got it. If base is fixed, could we explore a sign‑on bonus or a 3‑month review with a salary adjustment if I hit agreed goals?”
If you want to negotiate PTO:
“If salary is constrained, would you be open to adding one extra week of PTO?”
If you need time:
“Thanks—can I review the full package and confirm tomorrow afternoon?”
Mini checklist (so you don’t panic)
- Ask for time to review
- Pick your number (and your walk‑away)
- Prepare 2–3 data points
- Send one clear counter
- Stop talking
- Get everything in writing
Conclusion
Negotiation isn’t conflict—it’s calibration. The goal is not to “win.” It’s to avoid losing quietly for the next year.
